


Drag

by Switchadelphia (PumpkinHeadJones)



Series: Switchie's One Word Prompts [2]
Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Alcohol, Drag Queens, Ficlet, Gay Bar, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, MacDennis - Freeform, Religious Guilt, Smooching, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-17 22:52:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7289272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PumpkinHeadJones/pseuds/Switchadelphia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mac isn’t sure how or why Dennis keeps dragging Mac into awkward situations like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drag

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second of an ongoing prompt series I do on my Tumblr called "Send me a word, I'll write you a thing." You give me a word, and I'll write you a ficlet based on that word. Just about any Sunny ship is welcome, but if you don't specify or don't care, it will probably be macdennis by default, unless I'm otherwise inspired.

It seemed like a good idea when Dennis pitched it to Mac back at Paddy’s a few hours ago. _Let’s go check out the competition_ , he said, wiggling his eyebrows at Mac as if they were sharing an inside joke or something. It only made sense for them to dress for the occasion and play the part, like Dennis explained, so they went home and changed into their tightest fitting pants, and Mac put on his mesh tank top. They held hands as they waited in line outside the door, and Dennis _insisted_ on lighting all of Mac’s cigarettes.

But now that they’re here, sitting on the same side of the booth, right up by the stage, Mac is having some reservations.

Like, why do they even need to “check out the competition” at a gay club in the first place? It’s not like they’re trying to turn Paddy’s back into the hottest gay bar in Philly, right? Mac feels a stab of panic in his gut when he asks Dennis about this, but Dennis waves away his concerns, throws an arm over Mac’s shoulders. _No_ , he shouts, right into Mac’s ear so that he can hear him over the pulsing music. _We’re here for the atmosphere of the thing,_ _baby_ , he says, and his lips are pressed so close to Mac’s ear that he feels the tip of his tong flick over his cartilage when he says the word _thing_. Mac nods slowly, but he isn’t sure he’s convinced. He can’t really see what part of the atmosphere in this place would be suitable for an Irish Catholic bar like Paddy’s. He isn’t sure how or why Dennis keeps dragging Mac into awkward situations like this.

Still, they’ve got a two-for-one special on shots tonight, and Mac would never admit it out loud, but he’s really starting to get into this dance music they’ve been playing.

By the time the drag show begins, Mac is comfortably drunk; he’s been pounding two-for-one tequila shots for the better part of an hour. The stage lights up, and the MC walks onstage wearing a sparkly sexy nun costume. Mac is pretty sure she’s actually a dude, but he has to admire the tuck job she’s got going on. He’s trying to pay attention to what the MC is saying, but his eyes are watering from the last shot he downed, and Dennis is holding a lime wedge up to his chapped lips like it’s a communion wafer. Mac clamps his teeth around it and sucks the juice into his mouth.

The music starts back up again, and six more drag queens join the MC on stage. They’re all wearing the same nun costume as the first one. Mac is about to make a comment to Dennis about the blasphemous outfits, but then they start to perform a dance that has Mac’s cock twitching in his pants. He’s pretty sure it’s just because all of the drag queens are so pretty and believably feminine, though. Mac decides not to think on it too hard. Dennis puts salt onto his own hand, onto the space between his thumb and his pointer finger, and holds it out to Mac. Mac obediently licks the salt up, and then Dennis brings a shot glass up to Mac’s lips. He tilts it forward, pours its contents down Mac’s open throat like it’s the blood of Christ. Mac chokes down a cough and wipes away the dribble on his chin before Dennis stuffs another lime wedge into his mouth. The citric acid burns as it seeps into the little cracks of his parched lips. Dennis’s fingers dig into the peel of the lime and press forward past Mac’s lips. He’s not letting go of this one.

Sometimes, Mac prays for Dennis. He prays for God to spare Dennis’s soul from eternal damnation on account of his atheism. He prays for Dennis to realize that Mac is right about God and repent for all of his sins and transgressions. Right now, Mac is praying that he doesn’t notice how painfully hard he’s become, sucking on the tips of Dennis’s juicy, salty fingers like it’s the only thing keeping him alive while they watch a bunch of homos dressed like church sluts twerk around the stage.

But mostly, Mac prays for himself. He prays that Dennis will die first so that when it’s Mac’s turn to go, he’ll be able to ask Peter, or Paul, or whoever, whether or not Dennis made it into Heaven and then weigh his options. He prays that God will give Dennis a pass and let him through the Pearly Gates, if only for the sake of Mac’s salvation. 

_I promised I’d be good_ , the speakers belt out, _But I can’t help myself from these temptations._ Mac stares, transfixed, as the drag queens continue their provocative dance. Dennis’s hand is on Mac’s thigh now, and he’s dragging it up, up, up. Mac can feel Dennis dragging him down, down, down. _And when they come, there’s nothing I can do._

Mac really hopes that Dennis will get into Heaven. If he gets sent to Hell, then Mac will have a difficult choice to make, and he’s pretty sure he can’t do eternity without Dennis, even in Heaven. And sure, Dennis drags Mac down - Dennis is always dragging Mac down. But Mac doesn’t really do much to resist. _The road to Hell is paved with good intentions_ , the song says. Mac has never been strong enough to choose God over Dennis. _So when I fall, I will fall to you_.

 _Christ_ , Mac moans around Dennis’s fingertips, and he’s not sure if it’s a prayer or a plea. Dennis pulls the lime wedge from Mac’s mouth and replaces it with his lips. Tiny grains of salt cut and grind in between their mouths, and Mac moans a plea for forgiveness around Dennis’s tongue.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr 9 April 2016.
> 
> Send me requests.


End file.
